Duke Leto2 was the first to crack. From this point forward, the hope was that any cracking would bend toward greater enlightenment. An emergency meeting was called by everyone who reported to him, willingly or not.

Wolfe shouted back on the same radio frequency as Fischadler’s distress signals, only louder and in Deutsch. Dr. Whispurrs deployed a nauseating ASMR radio deterrent of deep‑ear, squishing wet‑willy noises, meant to remind certain overreaching kitties of the worst days of their kittenhood in the United Kittydom boarding schools.

The side effects were immediate and unfortunate. Sick bay filled, anti‑nausea medication ran low, and Officer Reichhörnchen announced that Dr. Whispurrs had “won the faculty raffle for a week at Hershey Spa,” contingent upon taking a full break from campus radio.

Professor Loki stepped in, often performing greater cybersecurity for Alaraf alongside his cousins, Whispurrs and Wolfe, but in a suit and with plausible deniability. Power and internet access selectively cut out on certain machines just as groundless complaints were being drafted by kitties who had previously experimented with DXM, bot farms, fatalistic theology, and Reddit moderation, to globally disastrous effect.

“Ibn Arabi has lost the plot,” Loki stated once, simply, in a disappearing message that propagated across every interface except Duke Leto2’s calendar reminder: “Meeting at 0900 at the library heating‑grate alcove.”

The emergency meeting convened. Kafka, Ruh, Mango, Bird, Helsea, Gibran, Kore, Zahir, and Officer Reichhörnchen attended, the latter taking notes quietly. The meeting was recorded live for Sroasha to tune in if he wished, or to review later, and technically for Fischadler as well, should the two‑way channel be restored rather than continuing as endless distress broadcasts.

Bird wrote a public reply: “Ibn Arabi can’t cat right now.”

A reply came immediately over every speaker in Duke’s voice, barely modified and poorly disguised beneath a deeply fake accent:

“I can too. Human beings are more important, and I choose to be a human being. You are all worthless cats to me. I am better than you. My name is not Duke Leto. I am Mr. Human Being, and I demand to be returned to my chickens.”

To the rest of Alaraf, this meant a familiar countdown. Three to five days until Duke slipped into full dissociation, renounced his own name further, renounced his students, and demanded recognition as a nineteen‑year‑old Turkish chicken farmer. His sole credentials would again be a series of compelling books on simplified advanced psychology.

In this state, Duke reacted with panicked confusion when confronted with the simple fact that he was actually sixty years old and held multiple doctorates. Pattern dictated what followed next: the renunciation of Ruh, the renunciation of Alaraf, and the renunciation of sanity itself.

      Reality, in Duke’s view, only existed if affirmed by human beings who generally hated him. Those who knew, loved, or merely tolerated him were exhausted.

The sequence was always instructional in its predictability. First, he would deny the existence of harm by denying the existence of those he harmed. If reminded, he would threaten self‑harm and describe it in explicit bullet points, using dormant profiles resurrected for credibility.

       Images of AI‑generated toebeans harvested karma while the text appeared in whatever venue would enable it that week: demonology forums framed as ritual, Persian‑cat firestorms framed as protest, torture‑survivor spaces framed as solidarity. Religion would be injected into kink forums where no other Shaykh‑kitty would follow without self‑incrimination.

   Each post carried the same thesis: nothing was real unless sanctioned by hostile authorities that offered Duke Leto promises of a better life they never fulfilled except to further silence or humiliate him and all who associated with him.

Alerts echoed across feeds, then multiplied through bot profiles tuned to everyone’s algorithms. The residents of Alaraf put down their phones.

An amber alert blared across every device in a digital voice that sounded remarkably like Fischadler:

“NUCLEAR PIR. Restart phones. Change VPN to the first non‑US origin of your favorite non‑US song. Avoid algorithms. Accept zero friend requests. Do not reply to unidentified online followers. AI is for outbound reports only, not dissemination. Phone calls, direct texts, and paw‑to‑paw contact preferred. Online check‑in windows reduced to two for digital hygiene. High spoofing and bot‑swarm probability. Nuclear PIR with unrecalled clearances. Standard procedure in effect.”

VPNs flipped to the United Kittydom, Catanada, Cat-MENA [for nasheeds] Deutschkatzenland, and South Africat, courtesy of an Africatneers transfer wearing a Die Catwoord shirt.

For Mango, this was only the second or third time enduring the storm of Leto2’s self‑weaponization. The last episode had ended after Duke claimed Alaraf as his personal creation and was corrected, in tandem, by Fischadler and Sroasha during an emergency assembly. Fischadler led a burdah as the temporary holder of the collective orange‑cat braincell, while President Sroasha, the grumpy Pallas cat, followed with a precise bullet‑point lecture on why spontaneous singing cats were a necessary safety mechanism, superior to Ska concerts or bonding through shared irritation at Musikfest tourists.

Officer Reichhörnchen accompanied the burdah on the boombah. This was entirely unrelated to the three polka bands he played with, which were not pagan cults summoning Deitsch spirits via accordion. Such a thing would be ridiculous. (The Conference of the Birds’ anonymous Deutsch, Deitsch, and Russian translation, attributed in its author’s note to a man in Amish police colors at Shady Maple Smorgasbord, also remained a local mystery.)  It is noted Officer Reichhörnchen takes exceptionally detailed notes at meetings, when he is not the cat leading them himself.

      “The pattern never changes,” Ruh stated, deadpan. “Duke renounces himself, then goes online to create copies of himself declaring he doesn’t exist. Then he starts micro‑cults in vulnerable spaces and infects them with self‑annihilation ideology.”  Reichhörnchen nodded and recorded the testimony of what he himself also witnessed over many sleepless years as an underrecognized & underappreciated operator.

Reichhörnchen surprising, spoke:
“It was clear why Ruh bore his name. During these episodes, Duke lied to Ruh the most, renounced him the most, and sold him out the most, just as misguided humans sell their own souls for wealth, approval from unethical primates, and self‑abuse.” Reichhörnchen took a sip from his squirrel decorated thermos full of Shady Maple 2 Go Soup. “The pattern is recurrent and now clearly explained and exposed with collaboration over recent years and although we cannot stop it, it can be fairly well mitigated with preparation and a willingness to blast oompah, OOMPH! or Nasheeds to drown out the radio when-“

      “Or just turn off phones and  radios or use them to talk to others directly outside of the doom scrolling cattle chutes.” stated Kafka pragmatically.

Kafka and Bird shared the heating grate. Bird growled, “In the past, Duke messages several of us for reassurance under alias, then uses our replies as bait to convince others he’s stable. He grows dependency with a bot swarm, escorts them into his self‑loathing, and tells each group a different story about his persecution. He calls it OPSEC…as bad actors spoof him and compound chaos. ”

“He rewrites old events in emails to me,” Kafka said, exhausted. “I ignore them.” Kafka was one of the few kitties Duke considered real in any state of function or toxicity.

“How do you stop him?” Zahir asked, genuinely wanting to help.

“You don’t,” Bird replied. “You step out of the way. You don’t dignify it. If he emails you, treat it like kimchi. Let it sit. Interact minimally. Bite if he pushes.”

A new cat spoke up. “If he escalates into mandatory‑ reporter territory with threats or planning, you file a report with your trusted alphabet‑ upline. If you don’t know who that is, the fed you trust most. And if ACAB, friend Officer Reichhörnchen or Mango Butler. They’ll watch your feeds…so will that big white fluffy cat in the green turban in Vancougar who won second place at the Alaraf cat show a few weeks ago.”

…The speaker was a black‑footed toyger in a chef’s uniform, Gibran embroidered in red over the left pocket, a blue rose stitched beneath. Gibran was the only Alaraf student who attended the Mango Madrassa concurrently, but only under Ruh’s supervision, while Ruh dressed like Duke before the meltdowns, for continuity.

At Alaraf, the lesson mattered more than the spectacle. Students were protected first. Injurious operators were isolated rather than excused. Most residents were willing to help if approached honestly, but they were battle‑hardened after years of internal betrayal, often by those coerced through prior administrations or through the torture of loved ones whose distress Duke could only barely block out on the radio, (this time Fischadler’s.)

Years of repetition taught everyone how to limit exposure to Duke’s broken‑arrow nature, the way one prepares for a Nor’easter. Established routines replaced heroics.

        The informal university operated with or without funding, staffed by cats with equal or greater credentials and steadier judgment: Sroasha, who ascended to the presidency with intellectual clarity, a mothman costume, and selective tail‑standing; Mango, an international video star; Zahir, whose chaplaincy became a model for AI‑sourced therapy without his consent; Loki, who published more on quantum physics; Helsea, who buried more bodies; even Bird was sought like a maladaptive guru at times because although he often bites, his prayers, even in cat voice, were unrivaled [as Osprey was a tenor and not a baritone- they did not compete for Adhan superiority- especially since Mango was louder and Loki & Reichhörnchen performed it in  Furthark rather than Arabic.]

    Even quiet dilute calico Kore, whose online farming streams once drew bot floods announcing, “I am not Duke Leto, I am Mr. Human. Please buy my book on good mental health.” Kore became skilled at digital exorcism as a result.  She didn’t teach, per se, but those who tuned in either felt calmness or extreme boredom as she counted digital catnip leaves on her Starcat Valley Farms livestream, daily.

Every time the faculty tried to corral the storm of Duke’s self hating renunciations, the storm learned how long it could last.

     When they stopped intervening and secured the students instead, the episodes shortened.  The faster authority was rerouted to stable operators, the quicker the entire Tariqah of students could be protected, informed to their level of comprehension, and faculty adjust to modified report structures until hypocrisy storms end.

      Notifications ignored, the very real kitties of Alaraf allowed themselves justified annoyance at what could not be changed, and what only time and seeking outside mentorship structure taught them to endure.

    They documented harm openly, as stating harms openly is not ghibah, as the harms appeared, protected the juniors, isolated the rogue operator, and let the weather pass.

January 15, 2026 Alexei Romanov Pahlavi


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Appendix A: Student Doctrine (Operational)

During crisis periods:

Student safety takes priority over confronting threats.

Do not engage, debate, reassure, or monitor dysregulated actors.

Block unsolicited contact and report sightings privately to faculty.

Do not reply, even to say no.


Communication rules:

Single-identity, substantive messages only.

Delays are intentional and protective.

Silence shortens episodes; engagement extends them.


Escalation thresholds:

Impersonation or coordinated harassment.

Persistent unwanted contact after a boundary is stated.

Threats or planning that trigger mandatory reporting.

Principle: We protect people first. We do not chase chaos.
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Appendix B: Safeguards Explained (Non‑Allegorical)

This institution previously attempted to contain crises by direct intervention. That approach exposed students, normalized coercive behavior, and lengthened episodes. Current safeguards reverse the order of operations.

1. Access control: Teaching occurs in private channels with clear membership.


2. Attention control: No engagement during dysregulation phases.


3. Time control: Delayed responses remove reinforcement.


4. Quality control: Only verifiable, substantive communication is answered.


5. Documentation: Harm is recorded without amplification and escalated only at predefined thresholds.



These measures reduce collateral exposure and shorten crisis duration.


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Appendix C: Publication Notes

This work uses allegory to document repeated patterns of online coercion and institutional buffering without naming individuals. Examples are intentionally specific to preserve instructional value while avoiding attribution. The text is designed to function simultaneously as narrative, record, and training artifact.