“Failure,” said the elder to the younger, lockstep beside him, “Never has any Pussycat Pir failed in quite the same way as you.”
“…Pardon?” said the younger, hair freshly dyed battle-of-Badr black, “I spent the entirety of the day with you and in debrief with a local Ops. When I was not with you, you could still hear my every word.”
“You did not inform me after you found the Dajjal you literally sent two students to sit with it.”
The younger stopped in place, then clicked his heel, and the elder turned to face him.
“I hate when you do that. You led one of our students to damage-” he gestured onward vaguely, “At least I was still watching.”
“That was his Pir.” the younger replied,
“So are you, and the Pir isn’t the problem; it’s what’s eating him”
“Fuck.” replied the younger on the two.
“Please don’t,” snapped the elder, “Have some Adab, the boy is emotionally skinned…speaking of which.”
They passed through two heavy metal double doors after waving a schlage card and a quick scan, down the sterile hallway, to the single lit room. Where, inside, was a tailless cat
“Well, he isn’t dead” said the student
“He wishes he was” said the elder cat
“What am I supposed to do?”
“YOUR MOTHER FUCKING JOB. ASTAGHFIRULLAH.”
The younger suited cat winced behind his cool cat uber-dark sunglasses.
“So let me get this straight. I need to find some way to comfort this kitty because he got hurt by the antichrist.”
“…which you pre- identified as academia in general.” glared the elder.
“See, I thought that was *our* Personal antichrist, I did not consider we shared it….”
The elder, less terrible Sufi facepalmed… The cat suffering could clearly be heard stating:
“I hear both of you perfectly clearly- one of you is my own surveillance target; and this conversation is utterly unhinged.”
“For your sake, I hope you monitor the more competent of the two of us, but while you remain stuck where you are, kitten, this is the best we can do for a vigil. So, if I make you a sock monkey…will you be able to point on the doll where your heart got broken?” was the reply
…Then, a pause.
“Once the human heart is entirely dead, and we no longer are beholden to toxic human emotion, can the light of the Qalb be seen in full kitty form.”
“like a vampire, the first death of your humanity is the most painful.” said the elder
“Inshallah… It only gets easier from here, Trust Allah.” replied the second, his caracal ears switching.
The injured one did not seem comforted in the least.
The second continued, “We both really love you, though. I feel kind of numb at the moment, but I can give you Du’a and an enthusiastic paws up through the glass.”
The elder Sufi facepalmed a second time, the younger idiot rambled:
“You got this, Akhi! Pull it together! Meowlana- am I encouraging yet?”
“No.” replied the other two, dryly. including the cat in bed.
Finally, the injured Murīd realized why True Sufi piss so many people off to the point of being hunted down.
Real Sufi cats kinda suck sometimes.
The Chronicals of Alaraf 