The Chronicals of Alaraf

I met a second idiot on the highway Sirat.

     “I am a SLAVE,” he exclaimed. “Therefore, I am not responsible for my own actions as well as the greatest of living Saints!”

     “That’s nice, John.  I’m trying to return to my loved ones.”

      “Call me Garrett, and I declare myself your Pir.”

      “Well, John, I don’t accept since the position is long filled”

       “It’s Garrett & Do I not walk beside you?”

        “You follow me like a dog wearing a turban while misleading most of Islam.”

         “Stop walking ahead of me”

           “No.  I don’t follow corrupt Shuyoukh.  At least if you follow me…you might learn something.”

            “Then I will keep following you until you submit”

             “Why would I submit to one of my own followers… Especially when I’ve been registered and credentialed as clergy, and your credentials are written with the Mastercard, your alleged “slavers” used to purchase your Turban. Your credentials are a buried FBI badge and human trafficker wealth.”

     Without much else to say, the interloper whined,

     “ALLAH MADE ME TALLER THAN YOU AND MORE PEOPLE LOVE ME THAN LOVE YOU”

   and I replied…”Then why are you not spending your time with those that love you?  Allah also gave you red hair, according to hadith & your outstanding lack of adab, I would prefer to follow Allah alone as I seek the return of my loved ones.”

      “It is Ghibah to imply I am Dajjal”

       “According to you…it is also ghibah to insult your Turban filled with black market amplification tech and wires that script your every word & plagiarized your betters, myself included.  So either stay behind me or do not be surprised when I push you off of Sirat myself if you can not learn your place.”

The end.

khalas.  There, now you are immortal until I delete this.  Now either help *our* teachers or mind your cultists as I continue to write reports on your human trafficking organization you refuse to since you prefer your Kingship over being an officer or actually decent Muslim

     “Fine,” Garrett replied,.  “I will be your cat.  I am very concerned for you, Alex.”