…announced Kek to Professor Kafka.

    “I saw you eating Baron’s Sushi & feeding the squirrels.  That is tacit admission of Sufi Ombudsman Apprenticeship,” Kek was a blonde catboy today, with fluffy golden ears, paws, and a jingle collar.

      “I am not an Ombudsman, Mr. Mangoes got the job,” Kafka replied, trying to walk quickly to his office while trying to look rushed. Kafka did not wear a jingle collar, he was desperately trying to recall how Leto2 avoided annoying students.

     Then he remembered he was one annoying students, and so was everyone he hung out with.

       “Hey Kafka, wanna watch me break the 4th wall like you?  HEY AUTHOR!  THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME A CAT STORY CHARACTER.   I APPROVE OF A MASTER SHAYKH ARC.  I AM LOOKING FOR MY MEATWAD.  Anyway.  You are still Ombudman, just Ombudsman of the interior.  Mango is the less nepo baby version of your job.  And he can wrap a turban like a Master Shaykh.”

       “That’s spiffy.  I turned down ombudsman.  Who is your Frylock…one of the Leto’s?” asked Kafka benignly,

        “Naaaaaa bro.  I picked the Jewish wizard that looks like Miles O’Brien in the catacombs.”  gushed Kek.

       Kafka recalled zero Jewish wizards- only Jerry who taught Apocalypse Intelligence and maybe some lady from Israel who used to work here who he barely recalled.  Then he wondered, why, exactly, this college had such a historically low number of Jewish staff.

       “…Wizard?”  Kafka inquired, decided was the best route through this mostly one-sided conversation.  

       “Yaaaaasssssssss Prince!  A Jewish wizard- he said he is seeking the ritual space of the prior administration to dismantle and bless with a Rabbi and a couple of Muslim exorcists.”

         “To get rid of the Muslims…?” asked Kafka, hopefully not hopefully.

          “Na bro.  To get rid of all the bad Jew-jew”

           “Juju.  The word is Juju.”

           “OMG KAFKA CORRECTED ME!  I AM NOW A STUDENT OF KAFKA!  ALL PRAISE ALLAH!”

             Kafka was going to call his father later. He practiced one sentence:

              “Padre, ¿por qué me has enviado otra vez a este purr-gato-rio?”

             …and this time, his father Fernañdo could honestly blame the Sufi for everything transpiring to Kafka regarding Alaraf.

     [ Astaghfirullah, Kafka-jaan.]